At first glance, they look so beautiful and so perfect
And even after lingering for a while
They can still fool you
But look closely at their details
All you’ll find is fake-ness
Perfection is just a facade
Nothing in its beauty is real
It’s all for show
It has no life
Nothing but paper roses…
I wish I knew then what I know now.
This phrase keeps repeating in my mind
I’m not entirely sure why.
Perhaps I’m tired of this life
I’m tired of the daily grind
I’m hoping there’s something more for me
More I’ve yet to find
But I feel so guilty for being dissatisfied
I’m supposed to be thankful for what I’ve got
But is it really so wrong to wish for something more
Something better that I haven’t got?
I don’t want money or fame
I just want to feel happy
And if you say happiness is up to us
Then we just don’t agree
Most times, the people you’re with affect your happiness
And this is very true for me
I am not happy
And I for this I have no remedy
Because I can’t change the other person
It’s an impossibility
And I can’t say a word
And I have no allies
And I can’t leave the world
I.
Am.
Trapped.
When can we go to that silent planet
and watch the sunset set the sky ablaze?
When can we be at that place?
When can we float on that sea of thoughts
and count the stars that no lights dim?
When can we be there and dream?
When can we walk on the soft red slopes
and sit on that soil of peace?
When can we be surrounded by its breeze?
I'll come with you, just tell me when
and live with you (though we should die)
In the red sands of closeness, dear
Where we can hear our breathing rise amongst the stars
~ Christmas 2000
(read without stopping for breath)
gazing into space
waiting for time
to pass by
quickly
the feeling of
anxiety from this
long frustrating wait
kills
the inside of
me is slowly
bursting out of
nervousness
visions of the
future creep into
my head and
poisons
the dream strove
for is drifting
away from any
reach
the sky grows
dim with my
thundering heart just
waiting
endlessly thinking of
consequences and choices
that must be
done
and over the
fear there lies
the courage to
act
out of uneasiness
comes millions of
thoughts streaming in
wildly
wishing that soon
it would finally
arrive and come
fast
the news of
rejection or acceptance
will determine my
forever
for the grade
that would not
come tears me
apart!
~Summer 2000, college
in dedication to all students, as the school year draws closer to the end
Poetic Ponderings 