I wish I knew then what I know now.
This phrase keeps repeating in my mind
I’m not entirely sure why.
Perhaps I’m tired of this life
I’m tired of the daily grind
I’m hoping there’s something more for me
More I’ve yet to find
But I feel so guilty for being dissatisfied
I’m supposed to be thankful for what I’ve got
But is it really so wrong to wish for something more
Something better that I haven’t got?
I don’t want money or fame
I just want to feel happy
And if you say happiness is up to us
Then we just don’t agree
Most times, the people you’re with affect your happiness
And this is very true for me
I am not happy
And I for this I have no remedy
Because I can’t change the other person
It’s an impossibility
And I can’t say a word
And I have no allies
And I can’t leave the world
2 thoughts on “I Can’t”
This makes me so sad… but I still love the honesty because I very much think it’s how a lot of moms/wives feel more than they are willing to admit. It can feel rather like a trap some days… and what makes it worse is the world doesn’t really value what we do. Because the world values a pay check. I don’t make money to stay home. I don’t make money with my blog. I don’t make money with poetry or photography. But whatever you enjoy — is never a waste of time and that’s where the value lies. Unfortunately, it’s a slow and tedious harvest for us. One that we won’t see the reaping until much later when our arms and homes are empty. Which really — that’s what we are raising them to do: leave us.
Gee – that’s not much happier!!! ha. But I think maybe it is. Treasures in heaven, right? 🙂
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I’m most definitely looking forward to treasures in heaven someday!